The Parish Church Council state that:
Dagenham Parish Church celebrates marriage, which is a life-long, loving commitment between one man and one woman. This is what the Bible teaches. But the Bishop of our region – Chelmsford – promotes prayers for blessing same-sex couples. She has moved away from the faith committed to God’s people. Dagenham Parish Church will not offer these prayers. (March 2024)
Here is the text of the marriage service with some explanations.
This is a ceremony in which a man and a woman make the biggest promises any person can make.
It is hundreds of years old, but goes back further than that, being based on the Bible.
In this page, words to explain the ceremony are in italics.
We have gathered here in the sight of God, and in the presence of this congregation to witness the joining together of Daniel and Alice in marriage.
• It is a ceremony that people might have done in the past because they had to.
• More recently, people might have done it because, although it seemed outdated and empty, it was quaint, traditional and comforting.
• Now, some of this short ceremony is considered backward and harmful. And if is harmful, then it is immoral.
The preciousness of marriage
The Church of England marriage service tells us three reasons why marriage is precious.
First, marriage is an honourable state instituted by God in the time of man’s innocence.
God introduced marriage before any evil or suffering or death intruded. It God’s good gift.
Secondly, it is a symbol of Christ’s union with his church.
God’s intention is that each marriage should be an advert or picture of a greater love – the love of Jesus for his people.
Thirdly, the Lord Jesus honoured a marriage at Cana in Galilee with his presence and there performed his first miracle.
The Bible – which is what God says – teaches that marriage is to be respected by all.
It must not be entered into lightly or merely to satisfy physical desire,
but with prayer,
careful thought and
reverence for God,
duly considering the purposes for which God gave marriage.
The purposes of marriage
“Duly considering the purposes for which God gave marriage.”
What are those purposes? Why did God make marriage? Here are three main reasons:
First, God established marriage for the procreation of children. Children who should be brought up in the fear and nurture of the Lord and to the praise of his holy name.
Marriage is for creating children – that takes a male and a female – a man and a woman.
And then to give children a secure home – Dad and Mum have made a whole-life commitment.
Secondly, God established marriage in order that the natural instincts and affections, implanted by God, should be hallowed and directed aright.
The intimacy of marriage is the place for physical love
Thirdly, God marriage was established for the mutual companionship, help, and comfort that husband and wife should provide for one another both in prosperity and adversity.
Marriage is to help each other through the great and grim moments in life.
This understanding of marriage enriches society and strengthens community – which is why all should uphold and honour marriage.
It is into this holy state that Daniel and Alice come now to be joined.
Therefore if anyone can show any good reason why they may not be lawfully joined together, let them speak now or for ever remain silent.
Daniel and Alice, I charge you both, as you will answer before God on the day of judgment, when the secrets of all our hearts shall be disclosed, that if either of you knows any reason why you may not lawfully be joined together in marriage, you must now confess it. For be assured, those who marry contrary to what God’s Word allows are not joined together by God nor is their marriage lawful.
I am going to ask each of you a question.
The answer is ‘I will’.
4 The minister asks the groom:
Daniel, will you take Alice as your wife and live together according to God’s law in marriage? Will you love her, comfort her, honour and protect her, in sickness and in health; and, forsaking all others, be faithful to her as long as you both shall live?
Groom I will.
5 The minister asks the bride:
Alice, will you take Daniel as your husband and live together as God has ordained? Will you love him, obey him, honour and protect him, in sickness and in health; and, forsaking all others, be faithful to him as long as you both shall live?
Bride I will.
I am going to ask you all a question – the answer is ‘we will’
Will you, the church family of DPC, support and uphold them in their marriage
now and in the years to come? We will
The place of witnesses
We have gathered here in the sight of God, and in the presence of this congregation to witness the joining together of Daniel and Alice in marriage.
I am not going to marry them.
They are going to marry each other.
I’m the chief witness – when they’ve done it, I’ll point it out.
You are witnesses with me. We are all witnesses.
In years to come, when Alice finds it hard being married to Daniel, your job will be to say, but I heard you make those vows. You need to work at this.
In years to come, when Daniel finds it hard being with Alice, your job will be to say, I heard you promise. You need to work at this.
The promises of marriage
The vows.
The bridegroom, taking the bride’s right hand in his right hand, says:
I Daniel take you Alice to be my wife,
to have and to hold
from this day forward,
for better for worse,
for richer for poorer,
in sickness and in health,
to love and to cherish as Christ loves the church,
till death us do part,
according to God’s holy law,
and this is my solemn vow.
They loose hands and the bride, taking the groom’s right hand in her right hand, says:
I Alice take you Daniel to be my husband,
to have and to hold
from this day forward,
for better for worse,
for richer for poorer,
in sickness and in health,
to love, cherish, and obey as the church submits to Christ,
till death us do part,
according to God’s holy law,
and this is my solemn vow.
They again loose hands. A ring is placed upon a book. The minister gives it to the groom who places it on the fourth finger of the bride’s left hand. Holding it he repeats the following words after the minister:
I give you this ring
as a sign of our marriage.
With my body I honour you,
all that I am I give to you,
and all that I have I share with you:
in the name of the Father,
and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit. Amen.
Repeat for the bride
Those whom God has joined together let no-one put asunder.
He then speaks to the people saying:
Daniel and Alice have consented together in marriage and have witnessed the same before God and this congregation.
They have made their vows to one another and have declared their marriage by the giving and receiving of rings and by the joining of hands.
I therefore pronounce that they are husband and wife.
The Lord bless you and keep you;
the Lord make his face shine on you,
and be gracious to you;
the Lord turn his face towards you
and give you peace;. Amen.